Paleo Bagels (What!?!)

I made these.

I smushed them a little too much on the baking sheet. Don't do that. 

Then I turned one into this.

Yes, that's double ham. Thanks for noticing!

I used this recipe (but substituted sesame seeds).

Whole30's over.

Caramelized-Onion Cauliflower Mash

You guys know our routine: CaveBoy works his shifts and I work all the time. So we rarely get to see each other at dinner-time. When we do share a meal, it feels like such special occasion that we usually go out to eat, often to a local burger joint or Thai restaurant.

Sometimes, however, I have my shush together well enough in advance that we can cook dinner for ourselves. This scenario is especially rare because it requires me to know on Saturday that we'll be together sometime in the week, remember that fact when I grocery shop, and buy one meal worth of food to cook (instead of my normal 4 to 5 meals-per-person bulk shopping).

Recently, that became much easier to plan and execute. I loaded up the freezer with on-sale steaks and individually wrapped salmon steaks. Now, I only have to know one day in advance that we're going to have a cook-at-the-Cave date, and I can pull out the right protein to thaw. We're saving money and avoiding that-much-more vegetable oil (double-whammy!).

Grilled steaks and baked salmon take no time to cook, tho, so my side veggie can't take all day. My favorite Roasted Cauliflower Sweet Potato Mash takes almost an hour (no bueno). Tangy Shaved Brussels Sprouts are awesome with steak but disgusting with salmon, so that recipe is disqualified despite the short cook-time. Cauliflower, on the other hand, goes with everything. And frozen cauliflower keeps forever. So I added a few bags to my beef and seafood stockpile, and now we're in business.

I pulled this recipe together on the fly. I was preheating the oven for our salmon steaks and needed to move fast to get the veggie done before the fish was ready. I always have onions, garlic, and chicken stock in the pantry (because those three ingredients go with everything). Add a few tablespoons of grass fed butter et voilà: dinner is served.

Caramelized-Onion Cauliflower Mash

This was so good, CaveBoy and I ate the whole batch by ourselves.

Ingredients

1 bag frozen cauliflower florets 

1 yellow onion, thinly sliced

6 cloves garlic, finely diced

2 cups chicken stock

2 tablespoons grass fed butter

1 tablespoon olive oil

Salt and pepper

Instructions

Place a medium sauce pan over medium-high heat. Add frozen cauliflower florets and chicken stock. Bring to a boil. Reduce heat to a simmer and continue cooking until cauliflower is tender. Increase heat and boil until all the liquid is evaporated. Remove from heat.

While the cauliflower is cooking. Add olive oil and onion to a medium skillet. Season with salt and pepper. Cook onion until it begins to brown. Add garlic and continue cooking until garlic begins to brown and onion is caramelized.

Once the onions are caramelized, mash cauliflower using a potato masher. Add butter to the onion skillet and stir continuously until it melts. Add mashed cauliflower to the skillet and stir to combine. Re-season with salt and pepper. Serves 2 to 4 (depending how many of the diners are CaveBoy).

Jamaican Beef Patty Pie

You've probably noticed by now that I thrive on routine. I like my life to be structured, organized, and predictable. I plan my work schedule weeks-to-months in advance. And I structure my home-life around fulfilling my basic needs: sleep, food, and fitness. On the food front, I traditionally meal plan sometime during the week, with my final decisions made on Saturday morning. I shop on Saturday evening (after the stores are mostly cleared-out of crazies). And I cook on Sunday afternoon.

Sometimes, though, my secondary needs (fun with friends, activities outside on beautiful Fall days, dates with CaveBoy, etc - not necessarily in that order) interfere with my routine. Take today for example: I'm headed to play outside with friends this afternoon, right in the middle of my normal cooking-block. But you know what? I have a plan for that, too!

On days like today, I plan meals that have only a few steps and require little babysitting. This helps me multi-task and still get everything done for the week in a compressed timeframe. I also split my cooking-block in half, starting the make-ahead steps (like baking sweet potatoes and chicken thighs) while I cook breakfast. I let them cool while I'm away (having fun) and then turn them into dinner when I get home.

Even though I am willing to skimp on time, I can't cut corners on flavor or creativity. Our cook-on-Sunday-eat-all-week plan only works if the food can hold our interest over multiple meals. Otherwise we end up in the drive-thru seeking bun-less burgers. And that's a waste of everything.

This Jamaican Beef Patty Pie recipe was born out of my need for a simple, flavorful, babysitting-free, paleo (actually Whole30-approved) casserole that I can whip up in a flash on days like today. It's a pie in the sense of Shepherd's Pie or my recently invented Drover's Pie.

The flavors are based on a Jamaican Beef Patty recipe I found on Martha Stewart's website. And the cooking method for the Mashed Plantain also comes from Ms. Martha (hey - use your resources, right?). But make no mistake, the execution is all Silly Little CaveGirl.

This recipe was such a mega-hit with CaveBoy that I know I've created an instant classic!

Jamaican Beef Patty Pie

Guaranteed* to wow everyone at your next pot-luck!

Ingredients

3 lbs ground beef

6 ripe plantains

3 onions, finely chopped

6 cloves garlic, finely chopped

6 scotch bonnet peppers, finely chopped

1 cup beef stock

1/4 cup olive oil + 1 table spoon

1/4 cup grass fed butter or ghee

3 tablespoons curry powder

1 tablespoon dried thyme

1 tablespoon potato starch (optional)

Salt and pepper

Instructions

Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Peal and slice each plantain in half lengthwise. Toss sliced plantains with 1 tablespoon olive oil and arrange cut-side down on a baking sheet. Sprinkle with salt and pepper. Bake at 375 degrees for 20 minutes. Turn plantains over. Return to oven and bake an additional 10 minutes. Remove from oven. Mash plantains with a potato masher until they become a chunky purée. Add butter (or ghee) and 1 tablespoon curry powder, and stir to combine until butter is melted.

While the plantains are cooking, add 1/4 cup olive oil to a large pot over medium heat. Add diced veggies and ground beef and cook until beef is browned. Add 2 tablespoons curry powder, thyme, and beef stock and simmer for 10 minutes. Season with salt and pepper. 

If you're not on the Whole30, consider thickening it with 1 tablespoon potato starch mixed into a half cup of cold water. Add the potato starch slurry and stir continuously until the sauce begins to thicken. Remove from heat. If you are on the Whole30, or are just keeping your diet super strict, simmer an additional 5 minutes to let more of the liquid evaporate. 

Grease a medium baking dish with coconut oil spray. Pour beef mixture into the baking dish and smooth into an even layer. Spoon mashed plantains on top, ensuring that meat mixture is evenly covered. Bake at 375 degrees until plantains begin to caramelize. About 10 minutes. Makes 8 servings.

Our peppers weren't very hot (nature!) so we served ours with extra hot sauce on the side.

*Note: I don't actually guarantee anything.

Sausage-Stuffed Zucchini

This recipe was inspired by my Grandfather's farm (and the Trader Joe's produce section).

Throughout the summer, I've been confronted with beautifully-stacked zucchini during my weekly grocery run. But I never brought any home because I know how much CaveBoy detests the fruit (how do you like that proper use of the definition?). But then last week while I was shopping, as I passed the zucchini pile, I recalled my mother's stuffed zucchini recipe, and I was sold.

When I was growing up, my GrandpaG lived on a farm (the same farm my mother grew-up on, but that's a story for another day). GrandpaG kept cows, a lake stocked with fish, a giant pear tree, and a huge garden. He grew corn, peas, tomatoes, pumpkins, zucchini, watermelon, and all sorts of other things. He also had rows and rows of raspberry bushes. It was a produce paradise (he also had a batting cage, a swing set, and a huge barn. So it actually was a multi-genre paradise.).

Unlike the zucchini you normally find in the grocery store, GrandpaG's zucchini was HUGE. One stuffed zucchini (two halves) could feed our whole family. This recipe is a modified version of my childhood memory. First because I don't have access to gigantor-zucchini, and second because my mom's recipe was not Whole30-approved.

And just incase you're worried, CaveBoy (grudgingly) ate the stuffed zucchini with me. He complimented the filling (so that's good!) and requested that next time I stuff it into a pepper instead. But he also agreed that if I am willing to eat broccoli with him, then eating zucchini once a year isn't all that bad. On that note: I say this recipe still counts as a success!

Sausage-Stuffed Zucchini

Like a smile on a plate.

Ingredients

8 medium zucchini

4 lb Italian sausage

4 eggs, beaten

1 yellow onion, finely diced

1 red onion, finely diced

1 head garlic, cloves finely diced

2 cups pork rinds, crushed (optional)

1 tablespoon olive oil

Salt and pepper

Instructions

Remove stems from zucchini and slice in half lengthwise. Remove seeds from each zucchini half (I used a melon baller).* Make sure to leave enough zucchini to have a sturdy zucchini-boat. Arrange on a baking sheet.

Preheat oven to 400 degrees. Heat olive oil in a large skillet. Add onion and season with salt and pepper. Cook onion until it becomes translucent. Add garlic and cook until it becomes aromatic. Remove from heat and let cool.

In a large bowl, combine sausage, onion mixture, and egg. Mix well. Divide into 16 evenly-sized meatballs. Press each meatball into a zucchini boat, filling the space. Shape the meatball so that it is evenly distributed along the zucchini-boat, for more even cooking. Bake at 400 degrees until pork is fully cooked. About 45 minutes. If desired (and I recommend it!), remove the stuffed zucchini from the oven and sprinkle crushed pork rinds on top. Return to oven and bake for 5 minutes. Makes 16 4 oz portions (or 5 servings each for CaveBoy and CaveGril).


*Note: Don't throw the zucchini centers away! I put mine in a Ziplock bag and stashed them in the freezer. I plan to use them to make zucchini bread once the Whole30 is over (and share it with someone other than CaveBoy).

Tomato-Bacon Yellow Squash "Pasta"

This recipe was so beyond-expectations delicious that I almost made it two weeks in a row!

At first, I wasn't sure how it would turn out. When I conceptualized this recipe, I wanted to make it with spaghetti squash. But I wasn't willing to wait a few more weeks for it to come back in season. Luckily for me (and CaveBoy) there was a huge pile of yellow squash at Trader Joe's, and I have a julienne peeler. Dinner was saved!

Now that I've experimented a little bit, I think I prefer the yellow squash. Spaghetti squash can hold a lot of water, which works just fine when combined with a red sauce (or made into a soup). The extra water boils off when I re-heat my portion each night, and prevents the whole dish from becoming dry.

BUT for an oil-based sauce, too much moisture could be catastrophic. Roasting the squash-noodles (instead of steaming or boiling them) kept them from becoming soggy or mushy and helped them stand-up to the tomatoes and bacon.

Now, I can't wait to try my hand at a yellow squash-noodle carbonara (dairy free, of course).

Tomato-Bacon Yellow Squash "Pasta"

It's a pretty substantial side dish.
Serve with something simple and light like grilled chicken.

Ingredients

8 medium-large yellow squash
1 lb cherry tomatoes, halved

1 lb thick-cut bacon, diced

1 red onion, finely diced

5 cloves garlic, finely diced
1 cup white wine
1 cup chicken stock
4 oz arugula

2 tablespoons olive oil
2 teaspoons dried basil
2 teaspoons dried oregano

Salt and pepper

Instructions

Preheat oven to 400 degrees. Julienne the yellow squash into the longest squash-noodles possible (I use a julienne peeler in long motions covering the full length of the squash). Once the narrow neck becomes too thin to continue julienning, continue peeling the thicker part of the squash until you hit the seeds (You will have noodles of different lengths, but they will still cook evenly. And this way you don't waste any food).

In a large bowl combine squash-noodles and 1 tablespoon olive oil. Mix with your hands to ensure even coverage. Use 1 tablespoon olive oil to grease a large baking sheet. Distribute squash-noodles onto baking sheet in an even layer. Season with salt and pepper to taste. Bake at 400 degrees for 10 minutes. Remove from oven. Stir and redistribute squash into an even layer. Return to oven and bake for 15 minutes. You want the squash to be cooked, but not mushy. Remove from oven and set aside.

While the squash-noodles cook, add bacon to a large skillet and render out the fat. Once the bacon is fully-cooked, remove from pan a set aside. Pour off 3/4 of the bacon grease. Return pan to heat and add onion. Cook until onion begins to caramelize. Add garlic and cook until it starts to brown.

Pour in the white wine and stir with a wooden spoon. Scrape the bottom of the pan with the wooden spoon to deglaze. Add the chicken stock and cherry tomatoes. Cook until the tomatoes are warmed through. Season with basil, oregano, salt and pepper. Return cooked bacon to the pan. Add squash-noodles and toss with tongs to ensure everything is evenly distributed. Remove squash-pasta mixture from pan.

Quickly, while the pan is still hot, add arugula and a pinch of salt. Toss arugula with tongs until it is heated and just begins to wilt. Remove from pan. Serve squash-pasta in large bowls with arugula on top. Makes 6 servings (I set out to make 8 servings, but it didn't last that long. It was just too delicious!).